I spent my wonderful Spring Break in San Francisco, and I am absolutely exhausted. But in a good way. In that extremely accomplished, happy, thrilling way.
I arrived on the west coast last Wednesday, ready to embark on a 6 day exploration of myself, a new city, old friends, new friends, a search for the Full House house, and the inner workings of brunch culture. Today I'd like to share my findings with you.
One of my favorite things to do in a new city is to set off on my own, by foot, and figure out the lay of the land. In San Francisco, I spent a whole day doing this. I felt like I saw it all. But by late afternoon, I found myself wandering down near Fishermans Wharf.
As I walked along the crowded sidewalk, I noticed a sudden, strange clearing of people, and I started to feel like I was being watched. All of a sudden, a man dressed as a giant shrub came out of nowhere and tried to scare me!
People all around me and the bush man, even people across the street started to laugh at me, like I was the butt of some big joke.
So I killed him.
I later found out that the Larry Bushman was a staple of San Francisco culture, and had been scaring people with his light-hearted bush prank for decades. So... my bad, San Francisco. I'll try and make it up to you.
Anyhoo.
On Thursday, we rented a car and left the hills behind for the sprawling vineyards of Sonoma County: Wine Country.
I must admit, if life was always this easy, I probably would be too.
A day of wine tasting can be an extremely expensive and dangerous thing. I think they should build some sort of Disney World tram that stops at all the vineyards so people don't have to drive to them after they've had a few glasses. But alas, we did.
Watch out for those trees. They come out of nowhere. The best part of the drive home was conquering Lombard Street.... you know, the twisty one.
Day in Sonoma + Evan Driving + Lombard Street = Hilarious consequences.
(Don't drink and drive, kids)
After our little adventure on the slopes, we took to the streets some more. Along the way, we found some type of dead animal which I was later informed was some tranny's weave...
The bar the tranny probably came from, prior to losing her weave...
And the most un-fun place. Ever.
I guess no review of San Francisco would be complete without a short description of the weather. It was pretty much perfect the whole time I was there. 70 and sunny. Since I have come back to Boston, people see my face and think I went somewhere tropical. I tell them I was in San Francisco and they scoff and say something about how I couldn't possibly have gotten so much color there. Well thanks, asshole, but I'm sure my peeling face would beg to differ.
The fog found its way into my vacation as well, of course on the day we walked across the bridge. Ain't the clashing of high and low pressure clouds to form masses of tiny water droplets a bitch?
I was kind of sad to see that, placed along the sidewalk on the bridge, were phone stations designed to stop people from jumping off the bridge.
"There is hope. Make the call. The consequences of jumping from this bridge are fatal and tragic."
Jesus! Take those signs down, stop giving people ideas. I would have never even thought about jumping if I'd never seen those signs.
Bridges are for crossing. Who stops right in the middle?
I quickly contemplated the fatal and tragic effects of jumping and realized I was too scared to even look over the railing. Life is just too precious. (But to clarify, I'm pro-choice)
By far, the best part of this Spring Break was being able to reconnect with my old friend Rachel. She just turned 93. She and I grew up in the OB together, but she moved away half way through high school, and I hadn't seen her in about 4 or 5 years.
Well she and her roommate Steve took me in for the week and I am forever indebted. We made quite the fun trio. We went out for granola and eggs every morning, during which we would catch up on the last 5 years of our lives. It was incredibly mellow-dramatic, trust me.
The whole idea of just picking up and starting in a new city after college is amazingly exciting. And they just have so much fun, I'm totally jealous, especially because I have terrible senior-itis, and I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. So while I'm also having fun, I feel guilty about it in the morning (There's a first time for everything right?).
I'm also glad I finally have a second point of reference in California. I've been to LA plenty of times to know that... let's just say it's not for me. But I felt extremely comfortable in San Francisco. Who knows, maybe a few years down the line I'll make a move. But that's literally light years from even considering.
So until then...
I'll be in wine country... with my weave.
Peace out, winos.
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