Is Black the New White?

It's been an exciting week here in Boston, but also a mighty thought provoking one.

First off, I got in to see a pre-screening of a very important political documentary. This was of course, everyone's favorite Kazakhstani TV personality, "Borat".

Actually, to be precise, the movie's full title is "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." This movie is a journey across our great nation in search of anything to enlighten the rest of the world about our cultural oddities. And to that end, great success! High Five!

Anything I could say about this movie would be redundant. It's hilarious. His handling of fascinating, slice-of-life American ignorance is spot on. See it!



















Sunday night, I did some "Cultural Learnings for Make Benefit" of my own. I went with Karen and Nick to a concert in Allston to investigate the new and improved guidelines for musical genres. Back in my middle school days, the way you looked, walked and talked, dictated the type of music you were allowed to like.

But today, everything has changed. The show had 4 acts. Let's examine. The first group was a post-punk-rock-swing-rave-nu soul-afro-beat fusion quartet called Patent Pending.















They sounded just like Sum41.

The next act was a jazzy-screamo-electronica duo of hardcore rappers called Hanger 18. They were also pretty lame.



















On to the main event. Finally. First up was the reason I was there: Cobra Starship. You might know Cobra Starship from the Snakes on a Plane soundtrack, which has propelled them into blog immortality. But to the rest of us, they are the twisted offspring of another band's leadsinger, Gabe Saporta of Midtown:















Simply put, they put on a great show. It was fun, not too serious (Snakes on a Plane!! HELLO!!), and a nice mix of 80s-synth-rock with hip-hop. Gabe is a great frontman, very smart, very funny. Choice quote:

"We have any Red Sox fans in the house? (Crowd roars) Well I don't know shit about sports, but I bought this hat with a "B" on it because I love Blowjobs."















After the show, the 3 of us got to meet Gabe, and we talked about our common place of birth: New Jersey.















Finally, the headliners took the stage: Gym Class Heroes. And those white-boy rappers made their own genre, and called it "uncomparable awesomeness".

So is black the new white? Or is white the new black? Or does nobody care anymore? Pretty soon, all the genres will mix and blend into one big melting pot called...get this..."music". Then we're all fucked. But that's many many years away. Until then, just like what you like, and try not to be labeled as a genre-ist.

Personally, I don't think it matters who you are or what you look like. I think we're all just snakes.

Snakes on the plane of life.















COBRAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later,

-evan

(PS- I fixed the comment thingy so you don't have to be registered)

What's In A Name?

Ever since "Will & Grace" came on the air, way back in about 1998, people have been telling me that I remind them of Sean Hayes, the actor who plays JACK! Friends of the family, people I meet once and then choose to never see again (wonder why), random service sector personnel, all seem to think they are the first to inform me of this fascinating likeness. It happens too often. Even a waitress at my local diner once came to the table, and before she even took the drink order, she asked me: "Who do people tell you you look like?"

Gee.... let's see, Doris.













I find it most ironic when people say that I don't look like him, but I ACT like him. Isn't THAT curious. Act like who? I don't mind being told I look like Sean Hayes, because he is older, and that face has been seen for much longer than mine has. But it does bother me to be told I act like his character, Jack. I was acting like me long before Jack Macfarland was ever thought of.

In reality, I look like this:



















Sean Hayes twin? I think not, but I'll let you decide.

As for Will & Grace, to be honest, I loved the show, and think it made huge strides in bringing gay culture into American homes. Unfortunately, now every gay guy + best girl friend couple I meet tends to describe their BEST FRIENDSHIP (like, oh my god, best) as like that of Will & Grace. It's become as trite and unimaginitive a comparison as any group of 4 girl friends saying they are just like the girls on Sex & The City. I think it's pretty obvious that gay men and straight girls have been hanging out together for way longer than Will Truman and Grace Adler... dating all the way back to the very first gay guy + straight girl relationship ever: Adam and Eve :)

But I digress.

All this Sean Hayes business made me think about just how unique we all are. My face apparently hadn't done a good enough job at setting me apart from Just Jack, so maybe my name could. After all, What's in a name... if not ultimately, a path to the real me?

I turned to Google. Come on, we've all Googled ourselves. E.V.A.N.










An image search for "Evan S------" turned up with this:








Strangely enough, that's not me. That's Max Tuma. He was in this singing group around the same time I was, and the website was just never proofread. Some pesky html programmer has a lot of explaining to do.

The search result SHOULD look like this:









But of course it doesn't. (Give me a break, it was 8 years ago)

When I finally DID find this picture of me, I was suspiciously named "Justin Elvin."















Justin Elvin was another actor on this project. He played "Timmy" I played "Johnny". Again, some intern's error that fucked my legacy forever.... but maybe that's for the better.

On a different site, a search for me concluded that I just don't have a face:













(Sorry for the crop, but you don't need to know my birthday)

Why was the world cursing my name AND face?

For years and years and years, I have refused to tell people my middle name. I leave it off my resume, credit cards, any sort of application, school work, anything I have a choice in. Why? I just don't like it. It's the best kept secret next to Baby Suri's real daddy's name. Yesterday, however, I submitted a document for one of my classes via the CourseInfo website's bulletin board system, so the whole class can read each other's work. And there it was. Staring me in the face. My middle name, for all my peers to see. And me, with no say in the matter. I got called out on it too, which made it sting even more. DAMN BU.

I'm still not going to tell you my middle name, but I WILL tell you this:

People will always compare your looks and personalities to actors and characters, even though you've been around much longer. Something you do will always remind your friend of something somebody else did. And when that happens, it doesn't mean that we aren't the most original people we can be... it just means we're better at it. True originality is a dying concept, you've got to own it where you can. Your name is a good place to start, and your face is even better.

Unfortunately, I'm still working on getting the right name/picture combination. So hopefully if I start small, with just my initials, the picture might catch on.



















Hahaha. Later.

-e.T.s.

Vogue: A Silent Killer??

At the end of my last entry, I wished everyone luck at the onset of another school year. Last week, we packed up the car with all of my belongings, and headed back to Boston for the start of my senior year. My spirit was high, but soon I was touched by the loss of a great man.

Making headlines all over the world for the past week, the death of this man signifies the end of an era. He was a teacher to many, a hero to many more. He charmed snakes and lizards all over the planet, and got himself into some pretty sticky or hairy situations. That's right, you all know who I'm talking about:















Willi Ninja. The man who taught the world to Vogue.

Willi made a name for himself on the dance floors of New York City in the late 80s and early 90s. He pioneered a new form of dance known as "Vogue" that took the NYC scene by storm, and eventually found its way into Madonna's music and choreography. This blog is for you Willi. You will be missed and remembered.














But then I got to thinking. There seems to be a trend here: young gay males who spent the 80s voguing across NYC night clubs seems to be a dwindling population. Why was Willi taken from us so soon? It didn't seem fair. What had he done? Slowly, the pieces all came together. Those flailing arms, the thrusting pelvis. HOW could I not see it?!?! Then I realized the horrible truth: Voguing is America's number one silent killer. And it's only a matter of time before it comes for YOU.

! So take warning, America. STOP striking a pose, or the lord will strike you DOWN !

In other news, the past week has been both colorful and uneventful. Classes started, and I quickly realized that as much as I would love to learn how to design FLASH, I can't bear the 3 hours with Monotone Mary. So that will be dropped. The rest of my classes are pretty cool though.

Monday night I went to a bar in Cambridge for the Stage Debut of the Trash Boys, my friends' band. Matt and Mike looked stellar up there, and Matt is one hell of a frontman.















Later in the week, Mike celebrated his 22nd birthday with a party at Good Times!


















Turns out it wasn't with the cast of the show, but it WAS at this place called "Good Times", sort of a Chuck E. Cheese for grownups.















There was drunk driving.....















And nicest butt contests....















The week ended with a sort of challenge. We challenged Jess, my roommate's girlfriend, to eat a whole chipotle pepper, one of the hottest peppers known to man, while she was wasted. Did I say this was a contest? That was a lie. There was no prize for her. And no collateral for us. She just did it, and we got to watch. Way to go Jess! That's some hot shit.





























Anyway, make sure to check back soon as I continue my ongoing investigation into the curious "Vogue", and stay tuned to more startling revalations affecting us all.