Dear Rosie...

Senior year of college, all anyone wants to talk about are my plans for the future. This is something I don't like to discuss. Partly because I feel like it's MY plan, not yours, and partly because I just want to let life take me where it will, no plan necessary.

I keep in touch with a lot of my teachers from high school. I know, "how lame", "teacher's pet". Try teacher's son. Suck on that for a bit.


















Recently, one of my teachers finally retired, and in a series of emails, I became unusually affected and inspired by what she had to say. She explained that now, at about 65 years old, she feels like a kid who is figuring out what she wants to be when she grows up. What a fantastic notion!

She tries new things, decides if it's right for her, and moves on if it's not. What a philosophy.

I thought to myself: if it's ok for a 65 year old woman to be first discovering herself now, learning about her strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, then it's ok for me to NOT be ready to plan out the next stage of my life right this very moment. Who needs that kind of pressure?

What would I like to be when I grow up? Ask me in 40 years.

With that in mind, I feel extremely confidant in the ways in which I spend my time.














Last week, a few friends and I signed up for a Gingerbread House building contest. None of us had ever built one before.














We started out kind of sloppy, but soon we got the hang of it. After a while though, we saw that the teams around us were building very intricate, elaborate houses in the shapes of famous buildings in Boston and around the world. So we decided to spruce ours up the only way we knew how:














We made it into a brothel! A Gingerbread Brothel. For the record, the characters having a finger-cuff 3-way in the front there, are Hansel, Gretel, and that mean old Witch.

We were all really proud of our creation. Sex sells, after all. And it didn't matter that we lost in every category. It was a good learning experience. Way to go team!














When I'm not constructing XXX confectionery, I hang out with the people I love, and sometimes do schoolwork as well.



























You know, it's not all fun and games. I don't want this to sound like I do nothing productive. But who takes pictures of themselves being productive? It's just about a healthy balance of fun I think.

Last week, things got kind of crazy at the Fusion party, but what better way to celebrate Kristopher's send-off? He's going to Sydney next semester. I'll miss him.


















And this weekend while celebrating Erika's birthday, Mike showed us some crack, and Erika showed me some lip.

























So while all of this reaffirmed for me that growing up is not yet required, recent news stories have made it quite clear that SOME people need to. And FAST!

Last week on The View, Rosie O'Donnell made fun of Chinese people by mimicking their language the way 7 year old kids from Iowa might. There was a lot of "chings" and "chongs" and it was just disgusting and insulting.

And while part of me wants to listen to Rosie, let it slide, and pass it off as "just joking", other recent Rosie related craziness has made it clear that she needs to grow up.










Dear Rosie,

What happened? You used to be semi respectable. You said you were a lesbian a long time ago, and most of the country STILL watched your show. You were winning people over to our side on the whole gay thing. Right on! But now you make EVERYTHING a gay issue, and guess what! It's NOT.

Accusing Kelly Rippa of being homophobic for telling Clay Aiken to get his hand off her mouth is ridiculous. Clay Aiken is disgusting! I wouldn't let him put his hand over my mouth either! Let alone look at me. And now you're making fun of Chinese people?? WHAT THE F!

You're acting like a HUGE (wink) hypocrite by accusing people of being homophobic who AREN'T and then making fun of another marginalized group of Americans, and just passing it off as a harmless joke.


Take a bit of your own advice (from A League of Their Own ):

Start using your head. That's that lump 3 feet above your ass.


I may have a while before I need to grow up, but you should have a long time ago.

Peace OUT!

-evan

Does This Make Me Gay?

Hello everyone. Sorry for the long overdue update. Thanksgiving happened, and then school work happened. My identity was stolen like Sandra Bullock in "The Net", I sailed around the world in a hot air balloon with Prince, and I won a People's Choice Award. Life gets in the way sometimes...you know?

Anyway, I'll start with Thanksgiving. I had a great break. I brough Justin and Yo home for "The Silverbergs Present: A Very Asian Thanksgiving 2006!" Justin lives in Chicago and Yo, from Japan, usually goes with him. But they couldn't find a flight, so they took refuge at my house for the week.














We spent the week doing all the things good Jews do over Thanksgiving. Like eat pork. Oh wait, no that's on Fridays over Lent. Wow Jews really DO have it easy! We went shopping, to the movies, Wawa, NYC, but mostly we ate. We ate thin-crust pizza on the Jersey Shore, we got dessert at the Ink Well at 3 am, we got burritos at Chipotle, breakfast at the diner, TURKEY at my cousin's. We Just Kept Eating.














Back in Boston, it's been very busy with the end of the year. Patricia's semester long run of rehearsals came to a boil as "CLOSER" premiered, and she and it were perfect.














The BU/BC hockey double header weekend went off ALMOST without a hitch. Thanks to Al Gore, the temperature has been mighty high these last few days. So at the Friday night game at BC, the game was called due to too much fog over the ice. The next day at BU, we lost. But I still went down to BC to celebrate.














ANYWAY. I was hanging out with my friend Eddie today and he told me that this weekend, before he had the "most mind blowing 3 way of his life" (when you're on ecstasy, doesn't everything blow your mind?) he made out with his male friend Harley at a club.

"Does that make me gay, Ev?"

He said that, higher than life itself, he and his rowdy gang went to a club downtown, and in a musical explosion of free love, lesbians, and drugs, his female friend urged him to kiss this other guy. So he did.

"It wasn't that bad, like I didn't feel disgusting or like I was different. And like, homophobic guys say it makes me gay but I don't think it's that big of a deal. I couldn't get used to the stubble though. That weirded me out."

I told Eddie that he shouldn't worry. Kissing a guy once doesn't make you gay. But do it more often and we might have a problem. A gay problem.














But then I got to thinking. Do people really think about this stuff all the time? Like that scene in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" where they keep going back and forth saying "You know how I know YOU'RE gay???"

This weekend I went to a Ken + Barbie party. Does that make ME gay?


















I dressed up as Country Club Ken, and Kris went as Malibu Ken. And we met up with a bunch of barbies. They were drunk college girls who didn't know up from down anymore. And we didn't take advantage of them. Does that make us gay?














What about ham sandwiches. Are those gay too? Why is everyone so concerned about what makes them gay? I would be much more concerned about looking too straight. At a different party, a drunk frat-boy type named Claudio introduced himself to Kris and told him that his "goal" (in life) was to "ejaculate on an MIT girl's face...one of the brightest minds in the world." Is that what straight people do?

I don't know about you, but I think we should be less concerned about looking gay, and more concerned about looking like giant douche bags named Claudio.

Peace OUT, stubbly kissers.

-Ev