First off, Nick and I saw "Running with Scissors" last week, the film adaptation of Augusten Burroughs' memoirs. One of the most enjoyable movies I have seen this year, it's right up there with Little Miss Sunshine herself. Annette Benning is one of my favorite PEOPLE, let alone actors. See this movie. I promise you will look at your past and say, "Maybe I really DID have a normal childhood."
The other flick I saw was "SHORTBUS", the second movie from the writer of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch". SHORTBUS is the most sexually explicit movie to ever be released in American cinema to not be considered porn. Maybe it's because we're all a bit older, or maybe it's because we look at sex from a different angle than when we were younger. And maybe we have all been desensitized to porn, but I couldn't help but get caught up in the story on the screen, instead of going "Hey that lady's masterbating"....or "Hey that guy's giving THAT guy a BJ, AND getting one in return. Right on!" I mean, she was. And they certainly were. But it wasn't about that. It was about how and why they got there, what it meant, and how they deal with it afterwards.
In other news, today I received confirmation that circumventing the law really can save a person up to $345...like Geiko, only without the funny commercials.
On a cool June morning this past summer, I got 3 parking tickets in a period of 1 hour on the Upper East Side, for being parked overnight on street-cleaning day.
$115 at 7:40
$115 at 8:15
$115 at 8:30 (Couldn't you JUST FUCKING TOW ME ALREADY!!!?!?!?!?)
BIG Nightmare?? or HUGE moral victory??
My dad heard about this webiste from the guy who cuts our hair: ParkingTickets.com Started by a group of former traffic cops, they know every loophole in the system, and guarantee you that they will beat your ticket, based on small mistakes that every officer is bound to make when writing a ticket. Thanks to 3 different NYC parking officers who wrote the wrong address down on one ticket, the wrong vehicle class on another, and completely neglected to specify a day/time of my infraction on the third, I am free as a bird.
ANARCHY IN NYC!
Well that's the good news. The bad news is: my Netflix got lost in the mail :( Damn
And finally: A short case study in the unspoken rules of MySpace socialization.
In every MySpace profile, there is an area next to a person's photo for a headline or quote. This space takes on a number of forms: funny quips that recognize their own existence as MySpace headlines ("this is my myspace headline"), not so funny quips in response to the first group about how out-dated they are ("insert my very original quote here"), slutty cries for sexual attention ("the hottest piece of ass this side of the Mississippi, bitchez"), ghetto ignorance ("NuMbA 1 PlAyA MuThA FuCkAZZZZZZZ"), and the purely irreverent.
I like to keep mine in the last category, by juggling between various lines from the movie "Happiness". Some of you know why that's significant, the rest of you just play along. It's lines like "I came" or "I put them into baggies and have been throwing them out ever since". Lines that, when taken out of the script, really don't mean anything....or DO they?!?!
Most recently, I had the line "Billy had fun too. We all did". A seemingly innocent exchange. Until I received this message from someone I didn't know:
"Is your quote a reference to you being fucked in the ass?" NO!! What The Hell Is Wrong with People?!?! It's a reference to Johnny Grasso getting did by his best friend's dad. I swear, some people.
First of all, what kind of creeper would even make that connection out of thin air?? Or more disturbingly, who goes looking for it?? I kind of have to applaud the guy for having the balls to even ask (because laughing about it totally made my day)...but show some class next time. If it's any consolation, HIS quote was from a Burt Bacharach song. Lame?
Peace out, Sickos!
-ev
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2 comments:
How did you get 3 parking tickets on the uppereast side? :-P
-S
Hmmm, yes I wonder....
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