Dear readers,
I need to get something off my chest.
I hate Bon Jovi.
And I am DONE being ostracized for my beliefs! Sometimes I feel like an outsider in my own state because of this. I feel persecuted. Just because I'm from Bon Jahovi's home state, I'm supposed to worship him? To swoon, to pump my fist, to buy a can of VA-VOOM hairspray. Am I crazy? Or just living on a prayer?
I know what you're thinking. Who can resist this:
On the eve of the kickoff to his big 2007 tour, christening the new Prudential Arena in Newark with 10 (not so sold out) shows, I was in the car with my Dad, and some Bon Jovi song came on the radio. I did a Tourettes-style jump in my seat and instantly switched to a different station.
"I don't know what you're big problem is with Bon Jovi...he's an icon," Martin mused.
Wait wait wait. You DON'T see the problem?? First of all, look at him:
This guy was once wanted dead or alive? Can't we just pick one of those?
Maybe it's his fans. Like many other die-hard fan groups, Jovi fans find hundreds of little ways to work Jovi into their lives, ruining it for the rest of us. I'm sure they have a name, like Dead-heads for Grateful Dead fans. BJs? Jovi-heads? Joviwild!?!?!? Or Dave Matthews fans. Wherever they are. Whatever those are called.
I've never met one.
I think my biggest beef with the man is that he has has completely ruined New Jersey. New Jersey, the state I've worked so long and hard to change the hair-band perception of. And yet every year, BJ goes on tour, and the fans crawl out from back behind the register at the Claire's in the mall all over again.
The most important thing to remember is that Bon Jovi is from Sayreville. I don't know how many of you have actually been to Sayreville recently, but it's disgusting. You know the old phrase: You can take the boy out of Sayreville....
"Who says you can't go home?" Hopefully his own judgment. I wouldn't set foot there.
New Jersey has a lot of obstacles to overcome. First off, outsiders have the horrible perception of it from the one road they all drive down: The New Jersey Turnpike.
We get it. It's gross. So is most of Indiana, but you don't hear us jumping down their throats about it. One little road. Give me a break.
There's no use trying to defend this state to outsiders. I like to let them call it "the armpit" all they want, knowing that my corner of this place is secluded, untouched by New York weekenders, a beach heaven, and totally amazing. But it's ok. you don't have to believe me :)
Finally, the music. I'm not going to argue against his tunes, because there will always be someone who will rip apart my own taste (even though it's the BEST!). All I'm saying is ever since "It's My Life" came out and he discovered that robot-harmonica-voice-morphing thing, his singles have all sounded mysteriously similar.
I have a few friends who love the Jovi. I don't get it. I never will. But truth be told, this is not the first bandwagon I decided to let pass.
Like Bjork. People either think Bjork is "foreign and weird", or they worship her so much they will actually defend this as a good decision:
Bjork people are like Curb your Enthusiasm people. Curb people think Curb is the be-all and end-all of television comedy. My friend Will and I often discuss the social peculiarity of being an intelligent, dry humor-loving, non Curb fan.
When you tell someone who loves Curb that you don't like it, they do 1 of 2 things:
1. They say, "You just don't get it."
2. They wait for you to leave, turn to their friend, and say "They just don't get it."
It's a unique position to be in when you can confidently, successfully say:
"Oh I get it...and I still think it sucks. How about you switch on 30-Rock?" And I'm not saying you should agree with me. It's just my opinion. But hey, you're here aren't you?
So Bon Jovi isn't for me. But maybe that's what you're in to. And that's cool. Just keep it to yourself for Christ's sake.
Or go back to Sayreville.
-Evan
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1 comment:
Talent comes in all forms. Open your mind enough to appreciate talent wherever it may be even if you don't agree.
That is what I do. I may even say you are a pretty talented writer.
All the treks from us, "Jovi Lovers" to your state in hopes of seeing Jon, seeing where Jon lives or anything connected to Jon, etc. doesn't hurt the local economy, so he's not "ruining the state" as you claim.
Besides, Jon has never trashed his own state as you do. Jon has only ever built up and praised the state of New Jersey.
I have been a fan since 1985 and my only problem with Bon Jovi is that I hate the "country" direction the band seems to be going. I'm not fond of country music, but I can still appreciate the talent. I'm just sorry to see Jon and the boys going down that country road !
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