What's a metaphor? I don't know, what's a meta-with you?

A week ago, on May 20th, 2007, I graduated from college. And now, I have just one question:

Now what?

In high school, our teachers tried to tell us they were preparing us for college, but we all know that's wrong. Of course no one remembers stuff from chemistry, physics, calculus or other utterly useless subjects, but there were supposed to be "practical" subjects too. I don't really remember anything about "shorthand" notation, which was part of a class known as "study skills." I also don't type using the "home keys," and personally I think I type much faster MY way.

Then they say that college is supposed to prepare you for your first job, but we all know how wrong that is too. I don't really know what my first job is going to be, so how can I say I'm prepared for it?

I think college made me a better writer, and gave me a better overall understanding of the world we live in. That's pretty much it in terms of what I learned in a classroom. Outside the classroom, I learned how to think more critically and creatively, to be a better judge of character, to get the most out of myself and of other people, to "trim the fat" from every aspect of life imaginable, and only take what is absolutely needed. Sounds harsh. I know.







































Before graduation, we had a week long celebration of Senior Week, and every night was a different event. Clambake, booze cruise, senior ball, pub crawl. It was so much fun.

I will truly miss a lot of the people I have come to know and love over the last 1-2-3-and 4 years. That's not to say I won't be talking to or seeing some of them quite regularly (the internet... it's crazy huh?), I just mean that the frequency of our talks and visits will slowly decrease. Sure, we knew this going into it, and truthfully I had allocated time and emotion for dealing with it, so I think I'll be ok.

I hung out around Boston for a few days after graduation, trying to soak it all in, looking for something I hadn't yet found. I realize now that was foolish. I am a true believer that you can't possibly retain any information you don't already know by studying for a test the night before. The same goes for this.





































When I came home on Tuesday, it took me a few days to unpack my room as it stood, along with everything I brought back from school, organize, throw away, donate, redistribute, reorganize, pack away, and ultimately get my room and life back in order. For whatever lies next.

My closet took on new life as a mini storage facility for things of childhood sentiment, things I might be able to use in the future, and a few things I just don't know how to let go of.

Friday night I went into the city to see my friend's show and to go to a party. Yesterday I went to the beach with Beth, then up to Old Bridge for a little BBQ and pool action with some friends. It was such a good weekend, but a lot of the time my mind wandered.


























I came home early, for me, with the idea of curling up on the couch and catching up on the last few Sopranos episodes. I fell asleep mid-episode, and the closing credits woke me up around 3:15. I shut off all the lights and went upstairs.

When I hopped into bed, I heard a creak. Then another. Then another, louder, longer creak.

Then my entire closet, shelves and bars, broke out of its wall supports and collapsed through the sliding doors, spilling out into a giant heap on the floor of my bedroom.

And here I've been trying to keep it all together. Metaphor much?


























As I write this, thunder and lightening are starting to pick up outside. And I am trying to figure out the next step. I just assume I'm supposed to start working, but some people have been telling me to put it off, to go on an adventure, to explore, to "find myself." Trust me, I've found myself, and I'm going to be spending quite a bit of time with me in the future, so I'm kind of sick of it.

The future will be wonderful, I have no doubt of that. But what of right now? The last 4 years have each been about looking to whatever events and milestones lay ahead. Now, I kind of feel like, hurry up and wait. And that scares me.







































And what about that metaphor? I'm worried that all that occupies the right now is putting my closet back together, and having to go through it all. And I'd really like a distraction.

So if you have any ideas, keep me posted. I have some shelving to replace.