Does This Make Me Gay?

Hello everyone. Sorry for the long overdue update. Thanksgiving happened, and then school work happened. My identity was stolen like Sandra Bullock in "The Net", I sailed around the world in a hot air balloon with Prince, and I won a People's Choice Award. Life gets in the way sometimes...you know?

Anyway, I'll start with Thanksgiving. I had a great break. I brough Justin and Yo home for "The Silverbergs Present: A Very Asian Thanksgiving 2006!" Justin lives in Chicago and Yo, from Japan, usually goes with him. But they couldn't find a flight, so they took refuge at my house for the week.














We spent the week doing all the things good Jews do over Thanksgiving. Like eat pork. Oh wait, no that's on Fridays over Lent. Wow Jews really DO have it easy! We went shopping, to the movies, Wawa, NYC, but mostly we ate. We ate thin-crust pizza on the Jersey Shore, we got dessert at the Ink Well at 3 am, we got burritos at Chipotle, breakfast at the diner, TURKEY at my cousin's. We Just Kept Eating.














Back in Boston, it's been very busy with the end of the year. Patricia's semester long run of rehearsals came to a boil as "CLOSER" premiered, and she and it were perfect.














The BU/BC hockey double header weekend went off ALMOST without a hitch. Thanks to Al Gore, the temperature has been mighty high these last few days. So at the Friday night game at BC, the game was called due to too much fog over the ice. The next day at BU, we lost. But I still went down to BC to celebrate.














ANYWAY. I was hanging out with my friend Eddie today and he told me that this weekend, before he had the "most mind blowing 3 way of his life" (when you're on ecstasy, doesn't everything blow your mind?) he made out with his male friend Harley at a club.

"Does that make me gay, Ev?"

He said that, higher than life itself, he and his rowdy gang went to a club downtown, and in a musical explosion of free love, lesbians, and drugs, his female friend urged him to kiss this other guy. So he did.

"It wasn't that bad, like I didn't feel disgusting or like I was different. And like, homophobic guys say it makes me gay but I don't think it's that big of a deal. I couldn't get used to the stubble though. That weirded me out."

I told Eddie that he shouldn't worry. Kissing a guy once doesn't make you gay. But do it more often and we might have a problem. A gay problem.














But then I got to thinking. Do people really think about this stuff all the time? Like that scene in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" where they keep going back and forth saying "You know how I know YOU'RE gay???"

This weekend I went to a Ken + Barbie party. Does that make ME gay?


















I dressed up as Country Club Ken, and Kris went as Malibu Ken. And we met up with a bunch of barbies. They were drunk college girls who didn't know up from down anymore. And we didn't take advantage of them. Does that make us gay?














What about ham sandwiches. Are those gay too? Why is everyone so concerned about what makes them gay? I would be much more concerned about looking too straight. At a different party, a drunk frat-boy type named Claudio introduced himself to Kris and told him that his "goal" (in life) was to "ejaculate on an MIT girl's face...one of the brightest minds in the world." Is that what straight people do?

I don't know about you, but I think we should be less concerned about looking gay, and more concerned about looking like giant douche bags named Claudio.

Peace OUT, stubbly kissers.

-Ev