What's In A Name?

Ever since "Will & Grace" came on the air, way back in about 1998, people have been telling me that I remind them of Sean Hayes, the actor who plays JACK! Friends of the family, people I meet once and then choose to never see again (wonder why), random service sector personnel, all seem to think they are the first to inform me of this fascinating likeness. It happens too often. Even a waitress at my local diner once came to the table, and before she even took the drink order, she asked me: "Who do people tell you you look like?"

Gee.... let's see, Doris.













I find it most ironic when people say that I don't look like him, but I ACT like him. Isn't THAT curious. Act like who? I don't mind being told I look like Sean Hayes, because he is older, and that face has been seen for much longer than mine has. But it does bother me to be told I act like his character, Jack. I was acting like me long before Jack Macfarland was ever thought of.

In reality, I look like this:



















Sean Hayes twin? I think not, but I'll let you decide.

As for Will & Grace, to be honest, I loved the show, and think it made huge strides in bringing gay culture into American homes. Unfortunately, now every gay guy + best girl friend couple I meet tends to describe their BEST FRIENDSHIP (like, oh my god, best) as like that of Will & Grace. It's become as trite and unimaginitive a comparison as any group of 4 girl friends saying they are just like the girls on Sex & The City. I think it's pretty obvious that gay men and straight girls have been hanging out together for way longer than Will Truman and Grace Adler... dating all the way back to the very first gay guy + straight girl relationship ever: Adam and Eve :)

But I digress.

All this Sean Hayes business made me think about just how unique we all are. My face apparently hadn't done a good enough job at setting me apart from Just Jack, so maybe my name could. After all, What's in a name... if not ultimately, a path to the real me?

I turned to Google. Come on, we've all Googled ourselves. E.V.A.N.










An image search for "Evan S------" turned up with this:








Strangely enough, that's not me. That's Max Tuma. He was in this singing group around the same time I was, and the website was just never proofread. Some pesky html programmer has a lot of explaining to do.

The search result SHOULD look like this:









But of course it doesn't. (Give me a break, it was 8 years ago)

When I finally DID find this picture of me, I was suspiciously named "Justin Elvin."















Justin Elvin was another actor on this project. He played "Timmy" I played "Johnny". Again, some intern's error that fucked my legacy forever.... but maybe that's for the better.

On a different site, a search for me concluded that I just don't have a face:













(Sorry for the crop, but you don't need to know my birthday)

Why was the world cursing my name AND face?

For years and years and years, I have refused to tell people my middle name. I leave it off my resume, credit cards, any sort of application, school work, anything I have a choice in. Why? I just don't like it. It's the best kept secret next to Baby Suri's real daddy's name. Yesterday, however, I submitted a document for one of my classes via the CourseInfo website's bulletin board system, so the whole class can read each other's work. And there it was. Staring me in the face. My middle name, for all my peers to see. And me, with no say in the matter. I got called out on it too, which made it sting even more. DAMN BU.

I'm still not going to tell you my middle name, but I WILL tell you this:

People will always compare your looks and personalities to actors and characters, even though you've been around much longer. Something you do will always remind your friend of something somebody else did. And when that happens, it doesn't mean that we aren't the most original people we can be... it just means we're better at it. True originality is a dying concept, you've got to own it where you can. Your name is a good place to start, and your face is even better.

Unfortunately, I'm still working on getting the right name/picture combination. So hopefully if I start small, with just my initials, the picture might catch on.



















Hahaha. Later.

-e.T.s.